My Cultural Illiteracy / Emmy Awards

I mentioned in an earlier post that I don't follow the same TV shows as everyone else. I thought I would give everyone a good laugh and prove it.

I've compiled a list of some of the major nominees and made comments for your pleasure:

DRAMA SERIES:
Grey's Anatomy - Watched the season premiere. Was terribly disappointed when it turned out to be a two parter. Did not watch 2nd part. Or any other episodes.
House - I think it's another hospital show. Never watched. I miss St. Elsewhere.
Sopranos - Mafia show on a spendy channel. Never watched.
24 - a show about terrorists and the people (ok the guy) that finds 'em. Watched about 3 episodes (or parts thereof) at beginning of last season.
West Wing - Watched 3 or 4 episodes 3 or 4 years ago. I much preferred Commander-in-Chief.
PREDICTED WINNER: West Wing because it's over and they'll honor the whole run like they did Return of the King for all the LOTR movies.

COMEDY SERIES:
Arrested Development - Never watched.
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Spendy channel. No clue what it's about.
The Office - Never watched - wonder if it's as good as Office Space (the movie)
Scrubs - Another hospital show - see comments for House above.
Two and a Half Men - watched five or six episodes in total since it's been on. It's OK, but conflicted with Monday Night Football.
PREDICTED WINNER: Arrested Development because I heard grousing it never gets noticed.

VARIETY/MUSIC/COMEDY SERIES:
The Colbert Report - watched twice. Kinda smug, isn't he?
The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart - watched three times. I like a man with the juevos to take on Bill O'Reilly, especially about something so dumb as an invented holiday in the winter which was originally designed to make an easy transition to Christianity for European Pagans who already celebrated the birth of a Sun in late December.
Late Night w/ Conan O'Brian - watched once or twice back when he was on that falsetto "In the year 2000" kick.
Late Show w/ David Letterman - I actually do watch this show in spurts... or rather I did several years ago before I discovered Anderson Cooper (and Aaron Brown before him).
Real Time w/ Bill Maher - He had another TV show? Who knew? I did read his book though, and it was funny as hell.
PREDICTED WINNER: David Letterman. Who wouldn't love a wholesome guy from Indiana?

It only gets worse getting into actor/actress and supporting categories. And to top it all off NBC got this contract which said they would show football every Sunday night for a long time, and tonight they are NOT having a football game. I have to make due with a game I recorded last night. BREACH OF CONTRACT! If you want to show the football games then by all that is good and holy DO IT! Put the Emmys on some other night, like Tuesday nights. There is no first-run football on any network on Tuesdays. Or move 'em to spring like the Golden Globes and Oscars. No football conflicts there. (Note: the last couple of Sunday night football games are the first time I have watched NBC in years and years. Nothing else worth watching there.

A BIG thank you to Katherine Harris!!!

I would just like to publicly thank Katherine Harris for setting the record straight as to the true intent of the extreme X-tian right. The not-so-secret agenda has finally been exposed in all it's glory. And the Democrats are guaranteed to win that seat she's running for. I would say I love you, Ms. Harris; but a) it would be a lie and b) you might assume I am one of those evil lesbian people.

For those who missed it, I've posted some of the highlights of her lovely little interview:

Separation of church and state is "a lie we have been told," Harris said in the interview, published Thursday, saying separating religion and politics is "wrong because God is the one who chooses our rulers." (Reeeally. This explains all those provisional ballots from heavily Democratic districts in Ohio getting thrown away and all those dysfunctional voting machines in Native American precincts in New Mexico. GOD HIMSELF willed it.)

and...

"If you're not electing Christians, then in essence you are going to legislate sin," Harris said. (I guess X-tians have the monopoly on morality. That's a relief, now I won't have to try so hard anymore.)

When called out on those particular comments, Ms. Harris made the excuse that she was talking to a bunch of Christians, so DUH! she was gonna say stuff like that. Here's the exact quote:

Harris' campaign released a statement Saturday saying she had been "speaking to a Christian audience, addressing a common misperception that people of faith should not be actively involved in government." (So, judging from that - she has proved that politicians will say absolutely ANYTHING to pander to a particular group, whether it is true or not, inflammatory or not, acceptable or not. And that they (politicians) whore themselves out for votes.)

Just so there will be no wondering, I am not a X-tian. I will not say anything bad about their religion specifically because I believe it is forbidden by my Pagan faith. Up until about 3 1/2 years ago I was a very confused but still Jesus-lovin' evangelical X-tian. Up until two or three years ago I was a registered Republican but am now independent. Not Democrat. I support some conservative positions and some liberal positions. I do believe that the Founding Fathers were Christians, but that they understood that government has absolutely no business making religious decisions in anyone's life. That's why they put that whole bit about Congress shall make no laws regarding establishing religion right there in the Constitution. (It's an interesting document, Ms. Harris. Trot yourself down to your local Barnes & Noble's law section and pick one up. Or better yet, click here. Read it.)

Here's the secret agenda: everyone needs to vote for X-tians. If they accidentally don't, or vote for the wrong one, the elections officials can help with that (see election 2000, 2004). Then we can have a government filled with people who never lie, steal, cheat, drink, or have sex with the lights on or in anything other than missionary position (however, raping of the Earth is encouraged). They will then rewrite all the laws in the great United States of America (founded on the principle of freedom) so that no citizen can do any of that stuff either. And they will make certain that we are all behaving like good little X-tians, because they will tap our phones and internet to find out (presumably under the guise of national security). Finally we'll all have to go to church every Sunday in order to get a mark that allows us to buy and sell goods in the common market. No mark, you're a fugitive. Theocracy at its finest (reminds me of the Taliban.) This is what happens when you allow any one group to gain an overwhelming controlling interest in government. Suddenly all the rules change to fit the rules of THEIR church and THEIR god. To me, that is as good as government establishment of a state religion. They may not come out and SAY "The Official Religion of the United States of America is Hardcore Evangelical Christianity" (because as of this writing that is still illegal - but the GOP is probably working on that). But they CAN establish all the tenets of a certain faith to the letter as the law of the land. And that is what they want to do.

This is dangerous ground upon which the evangelicals are treading. And as a freedom-loving, Earth-loving Wiccan "libero-conservative" independent white American female voter, I will not stand for it. I can't imagine that anyone else who loves freedom would stand for it, either. Use your MIND when you vote (and you had better VOTE DAMMIT) this November.

Brats in Public

I am going to admit here in a public forum that I have a problem with OPK (Other People's Kids). I don't think all OPK are bad, but the ones who are certainly cast a negative light on all of them.

Once upon a time there used to be standards your children had to meet while out in public: Use indoor voices, don't touch, no whining, stay with Mom and Dad. Now it seems that Mom and Dad think it is perfectly reasonable to drop children off in the kids section of a store so they can browse the rest of the store at their leisure. They have no second thoughts about it. They do not care if their children are destroying merchandise or if a friendly stranger has struck up a conversation with their vulnerable child. (I have seen videos of adult men coming up to children in the toy section of the store and exposing themselves.) Many times I have had a crying child come up to me because she cannot find Mommy and she's scared. Occasionally the parents are looking for their child as well, but mostly they do not notice when you return their child to them, and they go back to ignoring the kid and doing whatever it was they were doing when you bothered them to return their child. But have no fear, it is quite easy to make the parent of a destructive child show up in two seconds flat: tell their little angel it is not OK for them to pull everything off the shelves, or climb on the fixtures, or rip up the store's goods. The parent suddenly materializes out of nowhere, screaming at you not to speak to their little darling that way. You learn quickly: the child is never wrong. Just ask any teacher who has trouble controlling a kid. If you call the parents to get them involved, you just might end up on the losing end of the situation.

I have seen other kids who are just plain obnoxious. Sometimes it isn't their fault: it's three in the afternoon, their parents have been dragging them around from store to store for hours, they're hungry and tired. Sometimes the parents just ignore the child, continuing to browse at their leisure. Sometimes the parent yells at the kid for acting up. The solution is easy: take the kid home and back to their normal routine. Why is that so difficult for some people? Sometimes there is a bribe involved: be good and I'll buy you something. The kid learns (with amazing speed) that if they are naughty, they will get a toy/book/candy bar. HUH??? All I can say about these kids is they are going to be really really suprised when they bust up a store as a teenager and they get to go to the police station instead of getting a video game!

I had three kids by the time I was 23. My ex-husband worked in many upscale clubs, and our children were always welcome in these environments. At first they were just an amusement for the bridge club ladies. After that they went to various dinners and always behaved well. They knew what was expected of them. We went to many restaurants when they were little - nice ones and regular ones. We had no problem with spanking the kids in public. We brought them things to do. And we always did two things religiously: before we entered we told them exactly how we expected them to behave, and we praised them regularly when they met those expectations. Our kids knew it was good for us to tall them they were being good, but it was even better when the staff or other patrons praised them. I still praise OPK when they are good. I'll say something like "I'll bet your Mommy is really proud of you for being so good." The kid feels good about himself, the parents feel good about themselves.

In stores my children always had to hold hands with me and each other. If hands are in other hands they cannot be touching things. They asked for things of course, and 99% of the time I said no. (If it was something reasonable, like "Mommy can we get some orange juice?" I'd go along.) But there were no toys in the toy aisle and no candy bars at the check out. They knew that, and eventually stopped asking. It DOES take a while to train a child that they will not get something in every store. And it isn't easy. But they do learn. And then, when you DO choose to buy them something out of the blue, it is a special treat. It's not just a toy they play with for ten minutes and forget for eternity. It's not about the toy - it never is. It's about the power. I never let my children have the power.

I wasn't a perfect parent, and I'm still not. But I think I've done OK so far. The oldest starts driving soon, so we'll see how that goes. I trust him, and I don't think there will be many problems. I think if parents just establish a LOT of boundaries with their kids, they can be reasonably sure that their kids will be welcome in any store or restaurant. If you're offended by a business banning fussy children or by nasty glares from other people, YOU need to work hard to make certain that your kids exceed expectations.

The three month absence make-up post

I've been gone for a long time. Not gone from the internet, just taking a break from a lot of it. Of course my brain hasn't been shut off, and I have been thinking a lot.

#1 - It's football time baby! I eagerly watched the first preseason game between the Oakland Raiders and the Philadelphia Eagles. I know, preseason doesn't count, right? Well I always watch preseason games because of my fantasy football addiction. I'm "scouting" for my teams, looking for that breakout sleeper I can draft in late rounds and expect miracles from. I have 4 fantasy teams this season (one more than last year) and I have to admit it feels overwhelming at this point. But I know that as the drafts happen the bulk of my attention will fall to one or two of those teams, either because there's a lot of good active players in that league or because I drafted a team with the potential to kick some major booty. (If I am lucky enough to snag Larry Johnson, I will most definately pay close attention to that team.) I have never drafted higher than 4th pick though, which requires study and creativity. And that's where preseason comes in.

#2 - Nebraska's Senate race. I watched the debate eagerly yesterday (since they preempted my second-favorite soap to show it). Like a horny sailor on shore leave for the first time in months, it went ugly early. Imagine two millionaires slugging it out on TV. Ricketts compares Ben Nelson to Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton, which is laughable because while Nelson is listed as a Democrat, he is the most Republican Democrat in the Senate. And everyone in Nebraska knows it, including Pete Ricketts. Ricketts bought the primary, and he is trying to buy the regular election. But I think it's going to take some Ohio or New Mexico type shenanigans for him to win. (Read "Armed Madhouse" by Greg Palast to see what that's all about.) But for now, the contest is fun to watch. ** Note - the author of this blog is neither Republican nor Democrat, neither fully conservative nor liberal. They don't make a political party that represents all my positions.

It's not like there's much choice anyway. They are both in favor of eliminating the "death tax" so that folks like Paris Hilton (or their children) don't have to pay taxes when their parents kick off. (Since this tax only kicks in when the estate is over $1.5 MILLION, tell me how eliminating it benefits the "average" Nebraskan?) They are both pro-life even to the point of denying federal funding for stem cell research. (Yep, they want to protect the medical waste that no one wants but couldn't care less about those of us already born and struggling to make it in the world right this second.) They are both rich white Christian men (only the second description fits me). And if elected each would disappear into the beltway, only to be heard from again in six years when it's time to campaign again.

I have some errands to do now but will attempt to write more later before work.

It IS good to be back though.