Support Same Sex Marriage to Prevent Gay Marriage
Brian Lee Johnson recently wrote a letter to the editor of the Lincoln (Nebraska) Journal-Star newspaper. The letter spewed forth a bunch of nonsense that if "gay marriage" is approved that the beautiful sanctity of modern American marriage will be destroyed. He furthermore went on to say that if "gay marriage" becomes a reality we will then have a nation overrun with sodomy, bestiality, prostitution, pedophilia, and basically every other sexual deviance known to man.
Mr. Johnson, I hate to burst your idyllic little bubble but "gay marriage" happens every day in this country. It's been legal and in fact encouraged for years. I know this because I am the only product of a gay marriage, and I was an unwitting participant in a gay marriage for 7 years (the eighth and final year of the marriage I knew and we were trying to work it out for the kid's sake.)
My father knew he was attracted to men way before he married my mother in 1972 (and he claims she was aware of it at the time) but the Catholic priest who did their pre-marital counseling advised him that all he needed to do was marry a good Catholic girl and start having good Catholic babies. (And if that's how homosexuality is "cured" then WHY DON'T THEY WANT TO ALLOW PRIESTS TO MARRY???!!!!) For whatever reason it didn't work. If Mom wasn't aware of it before marriage, she certainly became aware of it after he was arrested in a city park or a rest area or something like that. But they stayed together in a really strange marriage for 20 years for my sake I guess. Once I was successfully (?) married off they legally separated, and then finally divorced a few years later. I know my dad is a much happier person now that he is out of the closet and I am fairly certain my mom is at least a little happier in her life. I think she might have been happier if she had been able to find someone to marry after the divorce because she's fairly lonely and that's what girls raised in the 50's and 60's are supposed to do anyway. For my part, I don't remember exactly when I figured out my dad was gay, but I'm happy he's happy and I just hope he can hook up with a really great guy someday (because he's picked some not-so-great ones so far).
Fast-forward to me. I was really into sex in my adolescence and had many intimate boyfriends. I met this gorgeous guy (really gorgeous) and we started a relationship. I should have sensed something was amiss when I went to his clean and well-decorated apartment. He had silk flower arrangements and artwork and decorative mirrors and antiques (which should have been a gigantic red flag). In hindsight that is pretty unusual for a 23 year-old bachelor. He was a chef at a local members-only supper club (like a country club but no golf course). And he was so cute I broke my one big rule at the time, which was no more deflowering virgins. After my successful college-investigation trip to New York City, we celebrated. I had left my pills in Ohio (whoops), he failed to withdraw like he said he would, and I ended up pregnant. Three months after our first son was born we were married in a nice wedding. We had enjoyed a healthy and motivated sex life up until that point, even through pregnancy. Once that wedding was over though it was like someone threw a switch somewhere inside him and the sex dropped off dramatically. He tried very hard to convince me it was my fault - I was fat, I was ugly, who would want me, blah blah blah. I approached him almost every night for years and met with limited success. I ended up crying more often than not. Granted we had two more children but it wasn't because we were regularly trying. After seven years full of treatment for my depression, several affairs on my part to try make up for what was lacking in our marriage, and some marriage counseling with our pastor (my pastor because he never went to church with me) he finally came out to me. He claimed he was bi. I wanted him to be happy like a good wife and helped him discover his new self. I counselled him through a few relationships (apparantly he wasn't aware of how men behave when they date someone), let him try on some of my clothes when he asked, and kept his dirty little secret. Locally I still do keep his secret. You see, when a married guy comes out of the closet, it is generally just for long enough to drag his wife in there with him and then slam the door shut again. His parents still don't know - they think the divorce was all my fault. Once they found out their son was planning on giving me custody, they said they would throw all the money they had at making sure that did not happen (I did not want to drag our three precious babies through a nasty battle in court plus I had no job and no money for a custody fight so I volunteered to become the non-custodial parent). He has been in a committed relationship with a wonderful older man for several years now (but not living together of course as that would be a dead giveaway) and is also a very beautiful drag queen in his spare time.
My story, and that of my parents, is far from unique. Judging from the sheer size of the online support group for straight spouses of gays/lesbains I joined after our divorce this problem is widespread. And it will continue to be a common problem until we destigmatize homosexual relationships and allow gay marriage. I know our society is much more tolerant (as a whole) than it was 30 years ago, but many gay people still believe they have to enter into sham (albeit "conventional") marriages with an unsuspecting member of the opposite sex and have kids because that is what society expects of them. The gay person tries to make it work but is inwardly torn and miserable. Eventually they feel the need to come clean (or get caught in the act or online engaging in homosexual relationships) and then the straight spouse is miserable. Generally there is a divorce and then the children are miserable. "Gay marriage" makes everyone miserable. What happens if we allow these people to meet, fall in love with and marry their one true love no matter their gender? They're happy, some straight person out there who wasn't duped into marrying a gay or lesbian is happy, and all the kids born to (or adopted by) each union knows where things stand and they're happy. All I see is a win-win situation. Let them marry each other like normal people. You'll actually be SAVING the sanctity of marriage, not destroying it.
Brian Lee Johnson recently wrote a letter to the editor of the Lincoln (Nebraska) Journal-Star newspaper. The letter spewed forth a bunch of nonsense that if "gay marriage" is approved that the beautiful sanctity of modern American marriage will be destroyed. He furthermore went on to say that if "gay marriage" becomes a reality we will then have a nation overrun with sodomy, bestiality, prostitution, pedophilia, and basically every other sexual deviance known to man.
Mr. Johnson, I hate to burst your idyllic little bubble but "gay marriage" happens every day in this country. It's been legal and in fact encouraged for years. I know this because I am the only product of a gay marriage, and I was an unwitting participant in a gay marriage for 7 years (the eighth and final year of the marriage I knew and we were trying to work it out for the kid's sake.)
My father knew he was attracted to men way before he married my mother in 1972 (and he claims she was aware of it at the time) but the Catholic priest who did their pre-marital counseling advised him that all he needed to do was marry a good Catholic girl and start having good Catholic babies. (And if that's how homosexuality is "cured" then WHY DON'T THEY WANT TO ALLOW PRIESTS TO MARRY???!!!!) For whatever reason it didn't work. If Mom wasn't aware of it before marriage, she certainly became aware of it after he was arrested in a city park or a rest area or something like that. But they stayed together in a really strange marriage for 20 years for my sake I guess. Once I was successfully (?) married off they legally separated, and then finally divorced a few years later. I know my dad is a much happier person now that he is out of the closet and I am fairly certain my mom is at least a little happier in her life. I think she might have been happier if she had been able to find someone to marry after the divorce because she's fairly lonely and that's what girls raised in the 50's and 60's are supposed to do anyway. For my part, I don't remember exactly when I figured out my dad was gay, but I'm happy he's happy and I just hope he can hook up with a really great guy someday (because he's picked some not-so-great ones so far).
Fast-forward to me. I was really into sex in my adolescence and had many intimate boyfriends. I met this gorgeous guy (really gorgeous) and we started a relationship. I should have sensed something was amiss when I went to his clean and well-decorated apartment. He had silk flower arrangements and artwork and decorative mirrors and antiques (which should have been a gigantic red flag). In hindsight that is pretty unusual for a 23 year-old bachelor. He was a chef at a local members-only supper club (like a country club but no golf course). And he was so cute I broke my one big rule at the time, which was no more deflowering virgins. After my successful college-investigation trip to New York City, we celebrated. I had left my pills in Ohio (whoops), he failed to withdraw like he said he would, and I ended up pregnant. Three months after our first son was born we were married in a nice wedding. We had enjoyed a healthy and motivated sex life up until that point, even through pregnancy. Once that wedding was over though it was like someone threw a switch somewhere inside him and the sex dropped off dramatically. He tried very hard to convince me it was my fault - I was fat, I was ugly, who would want me, blah blah blah. I approached him almost every night for years and met with limited success. I ended up crying more often than not. Granted we had two more children but it wasn't because we were regularly trying. After seven years full of treatment for my depression, several affairs on my part to try make up for what was lacking in our marriage, and some marriage counseling with our pastor (my pastor because he never went to church with me) he finally came out to me. He claimed he was bi. I wanted him to be happy like a good wife and helped him discover his new self. I counselled him through a few relationships (apparantly he wasn't aware of how men behave when they date someone), let him try on some of my clothes when he asked, and kept his dirty little secret. Locally I still do keep his secret. You see, when a married guy comes out of the closet, it is generally just for long enough to drag his wife in there with him and then slam the door shut again. His parents still don't know - they think the divorce was all my fault. Once they found out their son was planning on giving me custody, they said they would throw all the money they had at making sure that did not happen (I did not want to drag our three precious babies through a nasty battle in court plus I had no job and no money for a custody fight so I volunteered to become the non-custodial parent). He has been in a committed relationship with a wonderful older man for several years now (but not living together of course as that would be a dead giveaway) and is also a very beautiful drag queen in his spare time.
My story, and that of my parents, is far from unique. Judging from the sheer size of the online support group for straight spouses of gays/lesbains I joined after our divorce this problem is widespread. And it will continue to be a common problem until we destigmatize homosexual relationships and allow gay marriage. I know our society is much more tolerant (as a whole) than it was 30 years ago, but many gay people still believe they have to enter into sham (albeit "conventional") marriages with an unsuspecting member of the opposite sex and have kids because that is what society expects of them. The gay person tries to make it work but is inwardly torn and miserable. Eventually they feel the need to come clean (or get caught in the act or online engaging in homosexual relationships) and then the straight spouse is miserable. Generally there is a divorce and then the children are miserable. "Gay marriage" makes everyone miserable. What happens if we allow these people to meet, fall in love with and marry their one true love no matter their gender? They're happy, some straight person out there who wasn't duped into marrying a gay or lesbian is happy, and all the kids born to (or adopted by) each union knows where things stand and they're happy. All I see is a win-win situation. Let them marry each other like normal people. You'll actually be SAVING the sanctity of marriage, not destroying it.
posted by Basskitty @ 7:46 PM
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