A poem about Nebraskans, in the style of Dr. Seuss, on the occasion of their birthdays

Happy Birthday Nebraska! And Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!

To celebrate, I have thoroughly bastardized Dr. Seuss' style in order to parody the typical Nebraska voter. Enjoy!

Here's John Smith, a real good man.
Yes he's the BEST who ever ran
For governor or president
I tell you, folks; he's heaven-sent!
He's kind and fair and oh! so smart!
He doesn't smoke! Or drink! or fart!
One thing, though, he's a Democrat.
But surely you can look past that!

Oh NO! Cried voters. He's NO GOOD!
He'll rob us blind like Robin Hood!
He says he loves the poor and schools -
We don't buy it! He thinks us FOOLS!
'Cause things like poor and schools raise tax...
We simply CANNOT live with THAT!
He'll let the bad guys in, we fear
And then give marriage to the Queers!
He'll kill the unborn! We REFUSE!
A woman cannot, MUST NOT choose!
He'll give our lands to owls and such.
Besides, his wife is just too butch!
She's smart too, ambitions high -
We cannot let this THING slide by!
Our faith and values he just mocks-
We KNOW! We heard the TRUTH on FOX!
No! Even if he is the best,
He's DEMOCRAT and THAT's our test.

We'll choose this other guy, you see:
He's white and Christian, just like me!
He gives the corporate world some breaks-
Who cares if they pollute some lakes?
Or if he fixes deals behind the scenes?
Or ignores the flood in New Orleans?
He'll silence gays and women , too
Who THINK they have a right to choose.
He knows the value of a buck -
We'll borrow MORE! Oho! What LUCK!
He may be rich, corrupt and dumb
At least he's a REPUBLICAN!
We'll vote for HIM! Yes! He's our man!
Because he's a REPUBLICAN!